I

A new term,
The paths glow—
the breeze is
a rush of exhilaration.

Leafy, muddy
Cambridge is
still quiet, but
their words
veer off the path.

I just started the novel Tiepolo Blue, by James Cahill, which I bought because of the title and the swimming pool on the cover. The writing on the first page was so lovely, its phrases so descriptive that it was almost poetry anyway. Is it cheating to use such a source for an erasure poem? A bigger challenge would be to employ, say, the business section of a newspaper, but I took the plunge into the Tiepolo pool anyway. I’m keeping "I" for the poem's title, which is the Roman number I, but you could also read it as the personal pronoun “I” and entertain a little mystery.

More poems and poetry talk from others at the Poetry Friday roundup for May 15th; it’s at Patricia J. Franz’s place.

Poem source: Tiepolo Blue, by James Cahill. Sceptre/Hodder & Stoughton/Hachette UK, 2022.



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22 responses to “Erasure poem: “I””

  1. patriciafranz Avatar

    Yes! I love the mystery of “I” as “a new term.” Feels like renewal, a fresh start, where “paths glow.” And no, it’s not cheating –at least not to me. It’s leaning on fellow poets for making all things new.

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    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      I like that about making things new, Patricia! Thank you.

      Like

  2. rosecappelli Avatar

    Love how you pulled the poetic phrases from the prose to create something new. And I also enjoyed hearing how you chose the book based on the title and cover. So many different ways to find our way into a good read!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      Here’s the beautiful cover!

      Like

  3. Irene Latham Avatar

    Lovely! Here’s to veering off the path! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      Amen, Irene!

      Like

  4. Michelle Kogan Art, Illustration, & Writing Avatar

    Reading Tiepolo I thought of the Italian Rococo artist Giovanni Batistta Tiepolo, and what a fun and moving poem you created from that page of traveling words. Perhaps there will be a II and III.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      The artist Tiepolo definitely figures in the book. The protagonist is an art historian and Tiepolo expert. I like the idea of a II and III. Thank you for that!

      Like

  5. Mona Voelkel Avatar
    Mona Voelkel

    Fabulous!!!!! Love your poem, and seeing the words emerge from the page!!! Love the red box and marks like an ocean wave, too!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      Thanks so much, Mona! I knew when I read that first page that I wanted to use it in some way. Beautiful writing.

      Like

  6. margaretsmn Avatar
    margaretsmn

    Lovely found poem! I like to do this with discarded books.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      Ooh, good idea, Margaret. I also like folded-paper art, for lack of a better term, made out of discarded books. People are so creative!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. maryleehahn Avatar
    maryleehahn

    Not cheating at all to start with rich source material! Here’s to more veering!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      Thanks, Mary Lee! I’ll now be reading the book with an eye to parts II and III of the poem.

      Like

  8. Linda M. Avatar
    Linda M.

    Not cheating! It’s fun to get inside the thoughts of an author by taking what’s there and making something new. Well done! And, I love that you kept the “I.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      Thank you, Linda. I haven’t read ahead to see what part II will bring. We will see.

      Like

  9. mbhmaine Avatar

    This is such a fabulous erasure poem! I love the words you’ve chosen to highlight and combine, especially, “the breeze is/ a rush of exhilaration” and “their words/ veer off the path.” I agree with the others that this is not cheating. It’s mining a rich vein and finding your own treasures to bring to a polish!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      What a nice thing to hear this afternoon! Thank you, Molly. I’m enjoying the novel. I have a feeling that this very buttoned-up main character is going to be considerably (and literally) less so by the end! Ha.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Robyn Hood Black Avatar
    Robyn Hood Black

    Fantastic, Susan! I love your reasons for buying the novel, too… I fell into Helen MacDonald’s “H is for Hawk” that way years ago, too (the title and the glorious woodcut image on the cover).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
      Susan.Thomsen

      That one, H is for Hawk, is a great cover! I’ve not read it but want to. Thanks for reading, Robyn.

      Like

  11. heidimordhorst Avatar
    heidimordhorst

    “entertain a little mystery” yes please…

    I like the way your erasure turns Cambridge into a “they”–applying a modern pronoun/ciation to a place with a voice, quiet and veering, as are so many of our long-lived institutions.

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  12. Susan.Thomsen Avatar
    Susan.Thomsen

    It does! You’re right, Heidi. The pronouns of this erasure surprised me.

    Like

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