Chicken Spaghetti

The Poetry Friday roundup is here. Welcome! Please add your links to the Mr. Linky after David Moody's "Lunch with Laura."

David's poem first appeared on Chicken Spaghetti in 2006. He was a Cataloging Librarian at the University of Detroit Mercy, and although I did not know him well, I always appreciated his humorous contributions to an online reading group I belonged to. I was sad to read recently that he has since passed away. His poem still makes me laugh, so I'm featuring it again today. The inspiration, clearly, comes from the children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

*****

Lunch with Laura
by David Moody

If like Shakespeare you'd be makin'
Just pretend you're Francis Bacon
Frying up some Romeo and Juliet.
If on Updike you've been spying
Rabbits still are multiplying
And I do not think that they have stopped it yet.
If your name is Charles Dickens
All your characters will sicken
As consumption hits them with a hacking cough.
If you give a mouse a cookie
You're no literary rookie
And your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If you think that John's the Irving
Who is truly most deserving
Say a prayer for Owen Meany and for Garp,
If with Hemingway you're writing
There'll be lots of bull and fighting
But be sure to take some time to catch a carp.
If you fish with Joseph Heller
Who's a funny kind of feller
Then a catch of 22 is not far off.
If you give a mouse a cookie
Then you're something of a bookie
And your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If Fitzgerald had a Zelda
Still he didn't have Imelda
Just a bunch of stuff that hit him with the blues.
If Bill Faulkner's work is gnarly
His relationships are snarly
And it's difficult to tell just who is whose.
If you're munching on a pita
While devouring Lolita
Then I think that you are reading Nabokov.
If you give a mouse a cookie
There's no need to take a lookie
For your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If you're Huckleberry Finnish
And your hair resembles spinach
Then some one has put a Mark upon your Twain.
If Tolstoy's your inspiration
You'll depict the Russian nation
And will probably wind up beneath a train.
If you feel that you must grovel
It's a Dostoyevsky novel—
Crime and Punishment of young Raskolnikov,
If you give a mouse a cookie
And you don't look like a Wookie
Then your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If your brains begin to boil
Reading Arthur Conan Doyle
Then we can deduce a case of Sherlock Holmes.
If O'Henry makes a living
Then the Magi will be giving
And you'll sell your watch to buy those fancy combs.
If there's books of all description
Starting off with science fiction
Then you might be reading Isaac Asimov.
If you give a mouse a cookie—
Well I gotta tell you, Pookie,
That your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

*****

And now it's your turn.

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In past years I've had a great time participating in the Sealey Challenge, in which you read a collection of poetry a day for the month of August. It's a great way to catch up with new work and older poems that you've never read before. Last year, though, I bombed out after two days, which is like quitting the New York marathon while you're still lacing up your sneakers. For that reason, I set a very modest goal yesterday: read one poem a day from The Best American Poetry 2023 (Elaine Equi, guest editor; David Lehman, series editor). This way I'll be ready for The Best American Poetry 2024, which débuts on September 3rd.  My hope is that taking my time with the book will inspire some projects, too.

Yesterday's poem was "The Bluish Mathematics of Darkness," by Will Alexander, and today's is "Covering Stan Getz," by Michael Anania. You can read the latter work online at The Cafe Review.

The Poetry Friday roundup for August 2nd is at author Laura Purdie Salas's place.

Following in Alexander's footsteps led me to this video of Getz on the BBC's "Shirley Bassey Show."

Last week I shared a subway ride with this poster from the NYC Metropolitan Transit Authority's long-running "Poetry in Motion" series. It cheered up my travels, and so I am posting its Instagram link. Readers might remember the poem from Kaminsky's collection Deaf Republic (Graywolf, 2019). The art is by Elisabeth Condon.

The Poetry Friday roundup for July 26th takes place at Marcie Flinchum Atkins' blog.